Our relationship with Christ is the cornerstone of our family culture and church is an important piece of our growth. Sunday morning services are such a blessing as we seek to grow in our relationship with God and as we cultivate relationships with the church body! This community involvement is vital for both us and our children.
We have chosen to welcome our children into our spot in the pew every Sunday morning for the entirety of the service from birth on. It is common practice for young children to spend the entire service in nursery. Some churches offer a sermon only childcare or nursery. For many families this is a great option and blessing! For our family however we have greatly enjoyed having our children with us during full services. So many rich conversations have resulted and our children have connected with other adults in the church body outside of the normal realm of childcare.
Sitting with children in church isn’t without its challenges as any parent of young children can attest to! Here’s how we have approached it and found some success.
Begin training when young.
From birth on our children are in the pew with us. It’s all they know! Sleepy newborns are of course the easiest. As they get older I may have to stand in back and bounce them, but our goal is to keep them quietly in service as much as possible without distracting those around us. Cherrios, books, pacifiers, and daddy’s arms are all a great help!
Practice during the week
Practice makes perfect. Practice at home. In restaurants. At the library. In the car. Don’t simply hand over distractions for every situation in which your child must be quieter. Give your children opportunities to sit bored. Start small and slowly work your way up with just a few minutes at a time. You will be amazed at how well your children can do! And this skill is so helpful in many areas of life from doctors appointments, chiropractor visits, flights, etc…
Limit the amount of toys you bring
Now this one seems ridiculous at first glance right? I mean, doesn’t a variety of toys and drawing/coloring options mean longer stretches of silent sitting? Not in our experience! We practice a version of minimalism in our home as we have found our children focus longer and better when they have limited toy options. The same applies to the church pew. One or two quality books to pour over when they are very young or one pencil and a pad of paper can hold a child’s attention quite well. Too many options and the pew becomes a blown up mess with toys flying everywhere creating a ruckus. Not to mention with multiple small children it’s a recipe for toy arguments. And as much fun as it is to have those training moments at home, I’d like to avoid them in the church pew as much as possible…
Play “church” at home
Have discussions about what happens during a church service. Explain things of significance such as communion and baptism. Our children love play acting church at home as they make microphones and belt out hymns. And who doesn’t love to be served “communion” by an adorable three year old?? We have found that having these discussions outside of church draws our children to a deeper understanding of what’s happing IN church. It’s fun to watch them become excited on a Sunday morning when they realize communion is about to happen. Even though they themselves do not yet partake, understanding the significance gives the moment meaning as they watch the adults around them.
Don’t expect perfection
Our children are still learning and growing. There will never be a perfect Sunday morning in the pew. Squabbles happen. Crying babies happen. What matters is consistency. Keep at it week after week and you WILL see improvement. Set the expectation for your children and consistently hold them to it. If you take them out to the cry room every week for the entire sermon they will come to expect that. By all means take them out for a moment if they need it, but then sneak quietly in the back again when the need has passed. Set the expectation that your child will be sitting in church.
Be certain to remember your why behind doing this. If you are choosing to opt out of children’s church, having your own reasons for doing so is critical. We want this to be a blessing for our young children and an opportunity for growth, not something to dread.
